


Christmas Lights

by hexburn (thestormapproaches)



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Christmas, Longing, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Reminiscing, Snow, Songfic, Waiting for Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestormapproaches/pseuds/hexburn
Summary: Martin has a date to attend to, soon, but first, like he always does nowadays, he thinks.
Relationships: Martin "Rekkles" Larsson/Rasmus "Caps" Winther
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: DreamServer Secret Santa





	Christmas Lights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nanoukx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanoukx/gifts).



> merry christmas nanoukx! i hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Based on [Christmas Lights, by Coldplay](https://youtu.be/z1rYmzQ8C9Q). If you can listen to music and read at the same time, I highly recommend listening to this as background!

❄🎄❄🎄❄

_When you're still waiting for the snow to fall_

_It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all._

❄🎄❄🎄❄

Martin does miss Rasmus.

He tries not to show it, but he really does. He really has. It’s been... it’s been too long, since they’ve talked for real - they’re on the same team, but no conversations yet like the ones they used to have on Fnatic, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, indulging in post-coital warmth. There’s snippets about home and soloQ and scrims in between their typical work, but is that really enough to be called a conversation? Martin doesn’t think so, not when he and Rasmus have so long been apart. If he were less mature, he would demand Rasmus’s attention constantly. He’s here, he’s queer, he’s loud and proud. Maybe not loud, but he is proud of who he is.

Once upon a time, the loudness applied to him. Nowadays, he’s more inclined to murmur his pleas of love than to shout them, more about bringing flowers home to the privacy of one of their rooms rather than ordering bouquets to the office for a grand display of love. More likely to wait indefinitely than to approach Rasmus with the feelings that should have died two long years ago.

More like the soft winter snows than hard, bright, powerful summer sunshine.

Not that there’s much snow. It’s already late December, only a few more days until Christmas, but it barely feels like it without the characteristic thick snows he grew up with, and Martin is still in Berlin waiting for the snow to fall. He’ll be in Berlin for another day or two, before heading home for Christmas festivities.

There’s some business he needs to take care of first.

The truly business side of things has already been sorted out, what with the contract signed and the statements released and Fnatic fans preparing to jump ship for him and curse him in the same breath, but there’s something else, someone else, Martin wants to handle.

He stretches and stands up from his chair, finally looking away from the noticeably snow-devoid landscape outside his window. Best to get an early start. Today’s schedule wouldn’t really mind all that much if he happened to wait another hour or two - Rasmus won’t be awake until then, anyway, much less ready to meet him at the Weihnachtsmarkt - but there’s still that subtle nagging in Martin’s mind, ingrained after so long of seizing the day and making the most out of those morning hours, and so Martin decides to take care of the basics. Food, laundry, a bit of tidying up, nothing grandiose, just enough to keep his hands busy with something other than League, for once. And it’s nice to have some time to think without healthbars and cooldowns in every thought.

As Martin deftly picks out his own clothes for the day, sharp-looking but not excessive, he also folds the rest of his laundry and mulls over Rasmus at the same time the washing machine mulls his clothes in with the soap. They’re still not on great terms, him and Rasmus. Like water and oil, in a sense, avoiding each other even as they come closer and closer. Part of it is Martin’s fault for being so harsh and refusing to understand Rasmus’s side of it. How was Rasmus supposed to break the news, anyway? He’s always been bubbly and meek in turns, and Martin knows Rasmus had hinted at it, but at the time Martin had been too rash and rosy-eyed to see the truth. At the same time, Martin has enough self-respect to know that Rasmus certainly could have made a better effort, even if only by asking Joey to break the news. Anything would have been better than learning about that dreaded change through ESPN’s Twitter.

So, as is typical with most drama in Martin’s life, there is no single victim and no single perpetrator. Just a complicated web. He wishes it were easier to navigate, but as it is Martin thinks he’s doing alright, so he’ll manage for now.

Then it’s onto grocery shopping and cleaning up a little. They don’t eat all that much at the G2 house it seems, or at least in the way of groceries. The other Martin is apparently the exception, from what Martin has heard - Wunder reportedly likes to eat healthy and makes his own meals on occasion. On the other hand, according to a few small-talk conversations Martin has had with Jankos and Rasmus individually, Mihael is capable of eating half a pizza without a second thought. Martin is somewhere in between, though he’d like to get more into cooking, maybe even with Rasmus at his side. This Christmas, he’ll ask his mum for some simple recipes to expand his repertoire. He’s not clueless when it comes to the kitchen, but certainly not yet decent, somewhere around capable of making eggs without giving himself food poisoning but definitely nowhere near ready to make anything with raw meat. Perhaps, once he’s improved his cooking, he’ll be able to cook something for Rasmus. With Rasmus.

They’ve tried before, with Christmas cookies, the year before Rasmus left Fnatic. Martin still remembers Rasmus with flour in his hair and a spot of it on his nose. The cookies turned out sweet, and the tiny, fragile, childish kisses afterwards even sweeter. Frosting and vanilla and cinnamon and brown sugar, gingerbread and milk. Warm blankets and warmer cuddles.

Martin shakes himself out of it before he gets too distracted at the grocery store. Once he’s home, he allows his mind to drift as he tidies up his room, kindly ignoring the suspicious noises from Marcin’s room and trying not to wonder where Rasmus has gone. He did say to meet at the Weihnachtsmarkt, not to walk there together, so perhaps that’s also planned.

Soon enough it comes time to leave the house, and Martin wraps himself up in a scarf and a mask and an attractive-yet-warm coat, complete with mittens. He’ll have to hope his ears don’t mind the cold. It’s cloudy out, but still they’re waiting for snow to fall. Martin walks through the barren streets under lightposts clad in garlands and twinkling little lights, past a few couples who appear to be pretending they’ve been caught under mistletoe, when there’s no mistletoe in sight. Martin ignores them and breezes past. Once, he and Rasmus were like that, too, back when Martin’s love was safe and secure and immaturely abundant. With some work, perhaps they’ll return to that someday. Though Martin can’t say he appreciates the public aspect of it at all. A short kiss, perhaps, but certainly not the overindulgent makeouts some of the younger, teenaged couples have.

The rough gusts of wind and the cold, cold weather seem to have thinned the crowds as Martin gets nearer to the Weihnachtsmarkt, though he supposes that could also be the threat of sickness. The Christmas lights keep shining on, though, despite their admirers being fewer in number this year than in previous. Martin hurries his steps as the cold starts to seep thoroughly through his jeans.

Though the weather and conditions aren’t exactly prime, the Christmas market is bright and festive as ever, and Martin surveys its paths and rows to see how best to locate Rasmus. At the end of the corridor of stalls, a petite figure in an oversized, thick, black winter jacket mills awkwardly to and fro, clearly out of place until its brown-haired, tan-skinned head swivels just right and catches a glimpse of Martin. Rasmus’s mittenned hands wave with a mixture of hesitation and excitement, and Martin waves back with a smile, hoping Rasmus can tell it’s there even under his mask.

Carefully avoiding getting too close to any group, Martin and Rasmus make their ways towards each other.

A few light, fragile, tender snowflakes begin to descend to earth.

💖🎄💖🎄💖

_May all your troubles soon be gone_

_Oh Christmas lights, keep shining on._

💖🎄💖🎄💖


End file.
